I Am Tired of WhatsApp

I am tired of WhatsApp and Facebook (including its Messenger), and I don’t even use them. They create possibilities for people to stay in touch, but these communication channels are cursed and exclude people who don’t use them. They don’t move our society forward but create closed, walled bubbles instead.

Exclusion Tale 1

Przemek started elementary school this year. During the first week we had parents meeting and first decision made by parents was to create a WhatsApp group. I refuse WhatsApp for privacy reasons and due to my life views (sidenote: It’s proprietary protocol, impossible to interact with from any third-party software) , so I’m excluded from this group. At the same time I’m expected to align to decisions made there. I must proxy through my wife. She keeps her WhatsApp account for bullshit like that.

Exclusion Tale 2

We signed up Przemek for the local football (sidenote: Soccer) team trainings. Club organized introductory meeting for parents and informed about it on a Facebook page. At the time we didn’t even know that such page exists, so we missed the meeting. Apparently, the only way in which club communicates is by Facebook, a platform which I refuse to use for – let me repeat myself – privacy reasons and due to my life views. I proxy through my wife – she keeps her Facebook account for bullshit like that.

Exclusion Tale 3

During Przemek’s time in kindergarten, I refused to sign the agreement for publishing his photos on a closed Facebook group. As a result, his teachers often asked him to move outside of a photo frame or sit backwards, and he didn’t understand why he had to do such things. We explained to teachers that that by not signing the agreement we didn’t mean to exclude him from the photos or alienate him in any other way. We even agreed to give these photos to other parents, but we asked to not publish them on Facebook specifically. It helped a little.

I don’t care for these photos. They’re not interesting, have bad quality, partially due to heavy compression, they have bad lighting and framing, they’re out of focus or blurred. My wife though, she did feel excluded and had always regretted our decision.

Context switch to our daughter. This year we changed Dorota’s kindergarten, and my wife asked me if I’d be OK with allowing Facebook photos this time. I’m not OK with it, but knowing how much she cares about it, I agreed. And I cringe and cry inside every time she shows me these photos, because I know how having them on Facebook violates Dorota’s privacy.

For the same reason I’m hesitant of sending photos of our kids to the family, because the idea of copying them to WhatsApp, Facebook and other social media sites sickens me.

Exclusion Tale 4

We listen to a local radio station which airs a morning show during which kids may “call” to the studio and ask to play any song they like. It is great because the station is rather strict about music genres they play, but they made an exception for this show. Kids’ choices are often crazy, but for some reason, which I cannot explain, I love them. (sidenote: Especially Bohemian Rhapsody by The Muppets.)

We decided to try our luck. I found the phone number to the studio and we tried calling it for a few days in a row. We always had a signal but no one ever answered. Ultimately, my wife sent them a question through Facebook how could we contact them. This time they answered. They said that we should contact them through Messenger, which I refuse to use, and you know why. No songs for my kids, at least not when mum’s not around, sorry.

I am fortunate enough that my kids understand that daddy doesn’t use some services which other people use. Przemek is old enough to sometimes ask “why” and I try to explain it to him the best as I can, but I’m not sure if my explanations stick with him. For now it is enough that he accepts them.

Illness

At this point I’m sick of WhatsApp, Facebook, Messenger and other proprietary crap like this. I’m not their customer, I do not interact with these platforms in any way, but somehow they managed to considerably worsen my life. It’s almost impossible to interact with some people, or to stay informed if you don’t use these programs. I wish we had old good bulletin boards, mail lists or newsgroups which could ordinary, non-tech people could use as easily as they use WhatsApp and Facebook. I’d even prefer a pole fastened to the ground in the middle of a town. At least I’d have a reason for a walk.